Transcript
FOOTMAN
(STERNLY) Ah, you two again. I thought you were guests.
BILLIE
No, we’re…
FOOTMAN
If you’re here for work, you can get straight to it. Not in here, of course. This is where the table deckers work.
BILLIE
What are table deckers?
FOOTMAN
They make sure the food looks perfect before it goes out to the Prince’s table. It’s very skilled work. They’re like artists. They made that decoration on the table that looks like a palace.
ALFIE
It looks good enough to eat.
FOOTMAN
It is good enough to eat! It’s made of sugar.
ALFIE
Great, thanks!
FOOTMAN
Stop right there! Servants eat in one of the kitchens. And they don’t eat the decorations.
ALFIE
(DISAPPOINTED) Oh!
FOOTMAN
If you want to be a table decker, you’ll have to work your way up. And it helps if you’re German. Most of them are. No, you, young lady, will have to start as a scullery maid or a charwoman.
BILLIE
Does a charwoman have to make tea?
FOOTMAN
It’s nothing to do with tea, it’s to do with chores. A charwoman does all the things scullery maids don’t want to do, like emptying the chamber pots.
BILLIE
No thanks!
FOOTMAN
(TALKING OVER HER) It’s not a permanent position, I’m afraid. But when the prince is here, you’ll be paid two pounds and eighteen shillings a month. No days off.
BILLIE
What about when he isn’t?
FOOTMAN
There won’t be any work.
BILLIE
(SARCASTICALLY) Yippee.
FOOTMAN
So you won’t be paid at all. And don’t forget to curtsey whenever you see a guest. As for you, we need someone to clean the chimneys.
ALFIE
I don’t think I…
FOOTMAN
You’re nice and small, so you won’t get stuck when you climb up the chimney to clean it. Just make sure you don’t fall asleep, or someone might light the fire beneath you. Now report to the kitchen, and tell them the Head Footman sent you. It’s down there, along the servant’s passage.
BILLIE
Come on, Alfie, before you get us into any more trouble. How about you? Why don’t you come with us?
ALFIE
Yes, come with us. Before he makes you polish all the cutlery.