Transcript
VICTORIA
We are not amused! There’s no view of the sea! Why would my uncle George build a pavilion by the sea, and not have a view of it? It is most unsatisfactory.
BILLIE
He did go bathing, your highness. With Smoaker John Miles.
ALFIE
(WHISPERING) Your highness?
BILLIE
(WHISPERING) It’s Queen Victoria.
VICTORIA
And you are?
BILLIE
Billie, your majesty. And this is Alfie. And this is our friend.
VICTORIA
Well, don’t you think it’s rather short-sighted, not having a view of the sea? It is 1846, after all. Sea bathing has been popular for years. I’ve been coming here since I was a teenager, and I just can’t understand it.
ALFIE
You were queen when you were still a teenager?!
VICTORIA
I know! Mad, isn’t it! If Uncle George or Uncle William had had heirs, I wouldn’t be queen at all! Imagine! I might not have been born even! And I certainly wouldn’t have married my darling Albert!
But now I’ve inherited a pavilion that doesn’t have a view of the sea. And it’s no place for a family, is it, Bessie?
BILLIE
It’s Billie, your majesty.
ALFIE
If it was me, I’d build it on the beach.
VICTORIA
Quite right. A much better place for a pavilion. Except then we’d have even more people staring at us. They’ve just built a railway here, you know, and now Brighton gets sooo crowded. I really prefer the Isle of Wight. It’s far more suitable.
ALFIE
Is that your bed?
VICTORIA
Isn’t it just topping! It’s got six mattresses! One horse hair, one down and four goose feather. I need a ladder just to get into bed!
ALFIE
Could you feel a pea, if there was one under the mattress?
VICTORIA
Maybe when I was a princess. Nowadays, I couldn’t feel a cabbage!
BILLIE
I like your wallpaper.
VICTORIA
Isn’t it darling! All the butterflies and flowers and everything! It’s so exotic!
ALFIE
I like the parrots, your highness!
VICTORIA
So do I! What about you, Bonnie?
BILLIE
It’s Billie.
VICTORIA
Say what you like about Uncle George, he knew about art and design. When we sell this place, I’m going to keep all his lovely furniture and everything. It’s going to look lovely at Buckingham Palace. Though between you and me, you don’t have to make every room look like China.
BILLIE
I like chinoiserie!
VICTORIA
But not every room! Now, you must have a look next door. It’s for my lady in waiting, though I’m sure it’s far too big for her. And there’s another little room opposite. Albert calls it the throne room! Goodbye for now, my dears. And do come and visit us on the Isle of Wight!