Transcript
ALFIE
Did you see the nodding man by the door? He’s Chinese.
BILLIE
All the Chinese figures in here have nodding heads. Except that nowadays that one has a motor, so you can see what it used to be like.
ALFIE
But sometimes if guests got bored, they used to run up and down tapping all the heads, so the Chinamen all nodded at the same time.
BILLIE
Don’t even think about it. We’re not allowed to touch anything, remember.
ALFIE
So guess where we are, Billie!
BILLIE
Duh! We’re in Brighton. In the pavilion.
ALFIE
Look around. What can you see?
BILLIE
(SARCASTICALLY) Er, a long room?
ALFIE
What about the wallpaper?
BILLIE
It’s covered in bamboo shoots.
ALFIE
And what eats bamboo shoots?
BILLIE
Pandas?
ALFIE
Exactly! We’re in China.
BILLIE
(GROANS)
ALFIE
Not actually in China. Obviously. But it’s supposed to look like China.
BILLIE
Ah! Like the figures of Chinese courtiers?
ALFIE
And the vases!
BILLIE
And the ceramic lions?
ALFIE
Exactly! It’s a style called Chinoiserie.
BILLIE
Chinoiserie?
ALFIE
It’s a French word. It means Chinese-y.
BILLIE
What about that man on the ceiling by the door where we came in? The one in the middle, with the bolts of lightning?
ALFIE
More chinoiserie. He’s the Chinese God of Thunder. He was called “His Chinese Thundership!”
BILLIE
He looks pretty angry!
ALFIE
There’s something else I want to show you. Let’s go and stand where there are mirrors on both sides of the room. There’s a place near the stairs. Come on!
BILLIE
Wait for me!
ALFIE
(TO LISTENER) Are you coming too?
BILLIE
Yes, why don’t you come with us?
ALFIE
Ready?!
BILLIE
OK, so what’s so important?
ALFIE
Look into the mirror. What can you see?
BILLIE
Durr! It’s a mirror. What do you think I can se? Me!
ALFIE
Very funny. Look behind us in the mirror.
BILLIE
Wow! It looks as if the room keeps going forever!
ALFIE
It’s an optical illusion! The mirrors make the Pavilion seem even bigger than it is.
BILLIE
That’s wicked.
ALFIE
But what I don’t get is why there are all these tricks. The optical illusions and everything looking Chinese and everything.
BILLIE
It’s because the man who lived here…
ALFIE
George!
BILLIE
Yes, George – he was a Prince when he had it built, and he wanted to amaze his guests, and show them something unique.
ALFIE
If you think this is unique, wait until you get into the next room!